Generally Discontent

Speaker Phone Guy: Please just pick up the phone and talk into it like a normal person. If you want to dial while on speaker phone, fine, go ahead. I'm not sure why you would do this, since you're not actually so busy that you don't even have time to hold the phone to the side of your head while it rings, considering that you seem to enjoy wandering around and having loud conversations with people about what you're doing this weekend or what song is on the radio. But okay, let it ring off the hook.

But when they pick up, for the love of Christ, YOU pick up, too! Don't you understand that NOBODY wants to listen to your conversations? Especially when half of them are personal calls? Nobody cares that your wife is going to pick up the car! NOBODY! Not even your wife! Stop it, for crying out loud!

And while you're at it, why don't you do your job and come fix my computer? THANKS!

Guy With Pink Shirt: Hey. Hey buddy. You are aware that your shirt is pink, right? More to the point, you're aware that your shirt is pink and you are a guy? Right?

Look, you can't do that anymore. Wearing a pink shirt, I mean. I'm serious. No, no. It's not "salmon". It's PINK. You know what else is pink? Vaginas.

Cut it out, already.